Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
I saw this movie last night. It reminded me of leaving the first (and only) man I ever romantically loved at the Athens airport. I was 20 years old
I like these bleak movies (Blue Valentine, The Beginners, maybe even an aspect of 50/50) about romance being very sweet and tumbly sometimes while being like getting repeatedly kicked in your heart's face at other times. I suppose I relate more to the latter, but the sweet and tumbly wrestling is worth it.
I'm pretty sure.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
What if, despite all of your efforts to sweep things under the carpet, you just plain dislike someone?
What if they have tried their hardest and it does not begin to be good enough?
What if you can't stop thinking about it and you want to make things better but you cannot?
What if they deserve to know or could you sweep that under the carpet, too?
What if you got hurt?
What if you're still hurting?
What if you're just bored and that is why you are pausing to care enough at all?
What if you really want an appletini and you are afraid to order it in front of your date?
Sunday, October 2, 2011
I found this photo bookmarking a page in Susan Sontag's On Photography
"[Photographs] age, plagued by by the usual ills of paper objects; they disappear; they become valuable..."
PS- If you know the book, you know that this is taken from the second page. I assure you I read the gd book. And, considering I brought it along with only a couple dozen books across the country, I assume I plan to read it again.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Some guy who invites ladies to his apartment to photograph them nude. The photographs remind me of being a freshman in college, some nipples through diaphanous something. The girl look confused, awkward, holding a breast up to her mouth (why would you do that?) and you can tell she's thinking "I am an actress. This will be great for my portfolio. I hope he photoshops these into black and white. Maybe I'll sleep with him now. Wonder if I can get my whole nipple in my mouth.."
Sunday, September 11, 2011
We never really ate alphabet soup as kids, but I've a pretty good feeling I'd have fished around the bowl so that the letters would land as words in my spoon- kind of like the way I'd only step on the horizontal squares of the parquet wood flooring. George is obsessed with his cars. Yesterday he tried to climb the play structure at Patricia's Green with three cars tucked in the crook of his arm.
Kids are crazy cool.
I feel in a good place- the least angry I have been in almost two full years. Maybe more. Probably more.
When people ask me what I want to do (which they are wont to do (homonyms, what's up) now that I am unemployed in a new city) I respond, "I don't know," take a big swig of beer, "I'm on vacation."
What I mean to say is, "Well, I want to be a photographer, graphic designer, a writer & I want to tutor kids in writing while being a certified personal trainer. I want to start a business where I take photos of kids because they are the only people worth photographing because they are still honest. I also would like to marry a rich man who gives me money to start some frivolous company that I know is a joke, but it takes up my time and I can go on 10 mile runs every day, midday, whenever. I also never want to get married because I don't trust men and I am worried I might actually one day ask my husband this question, 'Yeah, well then let me smell IT, Stephen.' I wanna be well-known but not famous. I want to work hard, but not live to work. I want to do everything and I am scared to death that I will, in fact, do nothing."
So, I don't know. I don't really want to be asked that question. I got some figuring to do in the meantime, though, hey?
Monday, August 22, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
You know how in the creation story, g-bird is making all these things (ie. light, water, land)? You do? Well, then you know that upon surveying it all, the mystery author writes, g-slice is all, "And he saw that it was good."
Well, that is where I am with New York. EXCEPT, in this de-creation story, I would like c-dog to be quoted as saying,
"And it all seemed very bad & everybody seemed shitty, so Caileen had to leave New York."
I guess this story is a little more like Noah's Ark. I just wanted to liken myself to GOD, duh!
Anyway, enough with this biblical stuff. I just wanted to express my excitement to leave New York City in my own Boeing Ark in a few weeks.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Escapism, (For Raymond Carver After Reading "Romanticism" (for Linda Gregg, after reading "Classicism"))
The nights are hazy lately. When the moon begins to peek through the window, we are far from morning.